The Nerve of It

When you and your fiance were born and raised in the same southern town boasting a population of 7,811 and the nuptials are fast approaching, a favorite question of those you love (and some you don't) is, "Well, are you getting nervous yet?"

And you don't know how to answer; I don't anyway. My automatic response is almost an involuntarily choked out, "Nope; not yet. I'm sure it'll come soon" (referring to the nervousness of course).

But, what I really want to say is, "Nervous about what? Do you mean am I nervous about moving to a city I've seen only once? Perhaps you want to know if I'm nervous about starting graduate school for a program I've only been interested in for a short period of time? Would you like to know if I'm nervous about how oil might or might not be on the beach and how I am definitely not self-centered enough to downplay the serious tragedy just to complain about how the beach might be dirty the day of my wedding? Or, oh, were you just talking about getting married?"

It's not that I don't recognize how serious of a commitment Hub and I are making; I just believe in us. I know we're young, and maybe we are too young. But, is there really the perfect age? I mean, when a person hits 24 (or some other possibly magic age) is he or she automatically ready to commit to a happy and successful and loving marriage? I don't think so, my friends.

I understand, although certainly not fully, that marriage is difficult and something to work at, but I do not and I will not fear it. I have a peace about marrying Hub. I know it's what is right.

For a while, I was asked so frequently about my level of nervousness that I actually became nervous about not being nervous. Maybe something was wrong with me; maybe I was supposed to be nervous? (You know I do have a complex about things I am supposed to do). I soon tired of worrying over my lack of nervousness about getting married, which led me to dream up this precious gem of a post. I decided that if I am the first and last bride on this earth to be totally convinced that she is doing the right thing by getting married, then so be it.