Imagine.
It's Saturday. The mall is busy. Bustling. The parking lot is bursting full. Not a spot to be found. I only need ONE thing. ONE. Hub drops me at the door. "Good luck," he says. "Thanks," I reply.
I enter the department store. Almost crowded. Not terrible. I'm not sure where to go. I've never actually been here before. I walk slowly trying to get my bearings, figure out where I'm going. In front of me is a couple. A husband and wife. She's shopping. He's helping. I overhear their discussion.
Husband: Honey, if you want one of those sweaters, you should get one.
Wife: Well, okay. I'm not really sure what size I'd wear, though.
Husband: Hmm. Probably an extra large. I mean, a large might fit, but I'm not sure.
(Wife's eyes open wide; mouth drops a little; hand moves to hip; feet take a mini-step back)
Wife: I'm wearing a MEDIUM now.
(Husband's mouth opens a little, then closes to offer a fearful looking smile)
(Wife turns to face the sweater rack)
I keep moving. Make it to the makeup counter. Purchase complete. I head toward my exit. I wonder if the couple is still shopping. Are they still a couple? Is the husband still alive? Who could be certain? As I come closer to the site of the unfortunate dialogue, I see no wife. I do see the husband. He is sitting on the floor next to a display of mannequins. Alone, like a child left in timeout while his mother roams the store.
I walk out of the mall. It is chilly. After the longest two minutes of my life, Hub pulls up. I hop in.
"Did you get what you needed?" Hub asks. "Yes," I reply, "and I have to tell you what just happened."
*True Story. No embellishments.
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