After a few days of feeling like Mediocre Mable, I decided it was probably just my allergies. If you don't have to regularly think about your 'allergies,' count your blessings. Seriously. Do it.
So, I carried on with life as usual until yesterday, remember: day-before-yesterday to you. My ears hurt; my head hurt; my throat hurt. Bad news all around.
Today, which will be yesterday by the time you read this, everything got worse. I even had a fever. Or, "got the fever," as I like to say. Don't you think that sounds more serious? I do. I mean, "I've got the fever" is a lot better than "I think I'm running a low-grade temperature." Having "the" fever is a more adequate expression of how I'm feeling. Besides, where I come from people arbitrarily add "the" the lots of things, so it comes naturally.
I think I should take a moment here to explain that although I appreciate a spontaneously thrown in "the," I do NOT, under any circumstance, add an "s" to the end of something that is not supposed to end in "s." For example, the store is named Walmart not Walmarts. That's tacky. Here's another: it's Kroger not Krogers. Again with the tacky. Am I being harsh? Probably. Blame the fever. I now realize how irrelevant this paragraph is. Blame the fever again.
Back to the sickness. I haven't decided if it's doctor-visit-worthy yet. I feel like it might should be because of the fever. I rarely get the fever, but I'm holding out for a couple of days to see. In the meantime, I've been "resting" and trying to decide what "resting" really means and rediscovering that I'm no good at the "resting" because I feel restless. Sometimes, okay all the time, when I'm sick I spend the beginning of the illness trying to prove to myself that I'm fine. It's a really ignorant thing to do, but, nonetheless, I try it every time.
I'll do chores and lift things and get myself all out of breath and feeling like I might die before I decide to sit down. Then, once I can breathe again, I repeat the process. Yes, I know it's bad for my health. No, I cannot stop. It's just a thing with me.
I think it's because I really hate being sick; I'm no good at it. No matter how badly I'm feeling, I always feel like someone will think I'm faking it. How ridiculous is that? Beyond ridiculous, I know. I guess that's why I always have to prove to myself that I really am sick.
The other reason that I'm no good at being sick is that I feel guilty. I spend lots of time apologizing. How ridiculous is that? Beyond ridiculous, I know, but I can't help it. I've done it my whole life.
After wearing myself out a million times yesterday, I decided I really am sick. My suspicions were of course confirmed by the presence of the fever. I don't often get the fever, remember?
Since I am sick, I'm supposed to be "resting," which is another thing I'm no good at when it comes to being sick. If I feel healthy, I have no problem in the "resting" area, but when I'm sick, no sort of "resting" works for me. For me, sickness equals restlessness, even when I'm sleeping.
Here are some of my troubles with "resting:" (Yes, I realize you don't care)
1. Lots of people "rest" by lying on the couch or in the bed and watching t.v. all day. I can't watch t.v. all day without feeling lousy about myself which adds to my ridiculous guilt about being sick. Plus, the t.v. is sometimes too loud.
2. I read a lot when I'm "resting," but when I get tired of doing that because my head might split open from aching, I'm at a loss.
3. "Resting" usually requires staying in the same spot for lengthy periods of time. I'm no good at that when I'm sick because I am perpetually uncomfortable, and I feel guilty for not moving for hours on end.
4. This list could go on, but I think it shouldn't.
I said all of this to say, well, nothing. I hope by tomorrow, which will be today by the time you read this, I'll be feeling better, but I'm kind of doubtful.
I know this picture of my sweet Dixie has nothing to do with this post, but she is so cute, I just couldn't resist!
If you're wondering, yes, I do know how senseless this post is. Blame the fever.
I hope you feel better soon. Cuddling with the dog can be considered rest too and that's always great, even when you're restless. :)
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